Happy Birthday, Modern Tax System: 100 Toasts and Roasts

47. "I've been held responsible for taxes I know nothing about." ? James Brown

48. "We're going to look awfully stupid if we give income tax relief to people who do not pay income taxes." ? Joe Scarborough

49. "There aren't many downsides to being rich, other than paying taxes and having relatives asking for money. But being famous, that's a 24-hour job right there." ? Bill Murray

50. "The rich aren't like us, they pay less taxes." ? Peter De Vries

51. "I'm like the guy who prepares your taxes or a dentist. I'm very conservative and boring in a lot of ways." ? Augusten Burroughs

52. "The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward." ? John Maynard Keynes

53. "Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before." ? Art Buchwald

54. "In levying taxes and in shearing sheep it is well to stop when you get down to the skin." ? Austin O'Malley

55. "April is tax month. If you are having trouble filing your taxes, then you should hire an accountant. They'll give you the same advice that they've given hundreds of corporations ? taxes are for douche bags." ? Ed Helms

56. "Look, we play the 'Star-Spangled Banner' before every game. You want us to pay income taxes, too?" ? Bill Veeck

57. "Inheritance taxes are so high that the happiest mourner at a rich man's funeral is usually Uncle Sam." ? Olin Miller

58. "When we played, World Series checks meant something. Now all they do is screw your taxes." ? Don Drysdale

59. "The politician's promises of yesterday are the taxes of today." ? Mackenzie King

60. "Commercials on television are similar to sex and taxes; the more talk there is about them, the less likely they are to be curbed." ? Jack Gould

61. "Death, taxes and childbirth! There's never any convenient time for any of them." ? Margaret Mitchell

62. "We contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." ? Winston Churchill

63. "I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization." ? Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.

64. "The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes ? naturally, no one wants to live any other way." ? Judith Martin

65. "The power to tax is the power to destroy." ? John Marshall

66. "They tax when you earn a dollar, they tax you when you save it, they tax you when you invest it. If you earn a dividend, they tax it again, and if you're stupid enough to die, they steal up to half." ? Grover Norquist

67. "This is a question too difficult for a mathematician. It should be asked of a philosopher" (when asked about completing his income tax form) ? Albert Einstein

68. "The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love." ? Joe E. Lewis

69. "A penny saved is worth two pennies earned . . . after taxes." ? Randy Thurman

70. "Paying tax should be framed as a glorious civic duty worthy of gratitude ? not a punishment for making money." ? Alain de Botton

71. "The taxpayer ? that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination." ? Ronald Reagan

72. "America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation." ? Laurence J. Peter

73. "Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages." ? H.L. Mencken

74. "The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose." ? William Simon

75. "Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss." ? Robert Heinlein

76. "Another difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time the legislature meets." ? Robert Quillen

77. "It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta." ? Dave Barry

78. "Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: Animals have instincts, we have taxes. ? Erving Goffman

79. "Dear IRS, I am writing to you to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list." ? Charles M. Schulz (Snoopy)

80. "The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away." ? John S. Coleman

81. "Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either." ? Mignon McLaughlin

82. "Our tax code is so long it makes 'War and Peace' seem breezy." ? Steven LaTourette

83. "We are told that this is an odious and unpopular tax. I never knew a tax that was not odious and unpopular with the people who paid it." ? John Sherman

84. "You must pay taxes. But there's no law that says you gotta leave a tip." ? Morgan Stanley advertisement

85. "Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund." ? F.J. Raymond

86. "There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure." ? Dan Bennett

87. "It's about 10 times the size of the Bible ? and unlike the Bible, contains no good news." ? Don Nickles, about the Internal Revenue Code

88. "Nothing hurts more than having to pay an income tax, unless it is not having to pay an income tax." ? Thomas Robert Dewar

89. "Every advantage has its tax." ? Ralph Waldo Emerson

90. "Income tax time is when you test your powers of deduction." ? Shelby Friedman

91. "The difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion is the thickness of a prison wall." ? Denis Healey

92. "Taxes, are the dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society." ? Franklin D. Roosevelt

93. "A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." ? George Bernard Shaw

94. "Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others." ? Oscar Wilde

95. "Political figures who talk a lot about liberty and freedom invariably turn out to mean the freedom to not pay taxes and discriminate based on race; freedom to hold different ideas and express them, not so much." ? Paul Krugman

96. "The United States has a huge budget deficit so taxes are going to have to go up and I certainly agree they should go up more on the rich than everyone else. That ? that's just justice." ? Bill Gates

Source: http://www.cnbc.com/id/100435079

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